I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
