Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
