I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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