he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
