Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Having a random hookup so left but love u
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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