You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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