one might say we're banned from that church
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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