can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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