Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize