i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize