my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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