im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize