Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
