Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
