I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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