Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
