Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
