Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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