But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
third nipple confirmed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
