do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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