Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hippo gnu deer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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