I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
