I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize