i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
