ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
