i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Damn victory sex feels great
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
the raccoons are back...
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