i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Randomize
