fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
