i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
