i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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