I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
