Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
