last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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