I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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