I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
