shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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