I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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