): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
