She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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