The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
