they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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