i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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