i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
