That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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