can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
