Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
