Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
