Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
