Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
