people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
