Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
