Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
