We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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