Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everyone says I win the strip club
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