I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
