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Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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