: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
